GREEN WITH ENVY.

Lately, I have been wrestling with the idea of jealousy. I have this friend who I absolutely adore to pieces, but it sort of seems like she has it all. She's got a great boyfriend, a solid group of friends, gorgeous looks, and a personality to match. She embodies everything I wish I could be and I can't help being resentful. I've found that I often compare myself to her, especially regarding things that don't even matter.

I think the problem stems from an "identity crisis" and a general lack of self confidence. In a world of ranks and places, it is easy to find yourself inferior. I'm constantly thinking about who is smarter, prettier, faster, and better than me. I try to combat those self-destructive thoughts with "well I'm better at ___," but narcissisim is not the answer.

Not that I am pretending to know the answer. The truth is, I don't. I am envious of people's looks, clothing, talents, personality, social status-- you name it. I guess I don't really know where I'm going with this; I'm still working it out. It's just been on my mind and I thought I would write about it and hopefully have some epiphany.

I didn't.