I DID IT.

I did it folks. I've been published. Not to the literary magazine that only a few people actually care enough about to buy or on the Internet on some silly blog. My words were published in a real live (school) newspaper. I can honestly say that seeing my name in print was one of the most satisfying moments ever. Knowing that the paper that students were pouring over all day long had my words and my name in it gave me an unexpected, though not unwelcome, thrill

For a while I had been questioning whether or not writing was really something I wanted to pursue. A couple of experiences had kind of gotten me down. However, printing something in the Trojan Tribune, even though it was only an Opinion Editorial, reminded me that I do love to write. I liked getting feedback (both good and bad) from my classmates and I can't wait to publish again!

I've had an emotionally charged senior year. With college applications, work, school, sports, and friends on my plate, juggling it all can be a challenge, and I often feel stressed out. I don't ever want to be crabby, but that's how I find myself feeling a lot of the time. But who wants to hang out with crabby people? Nobody does, so I fake it. Or at least I try to pretend like I'm in a good mood, but I am guarded. I put up my walls, and it takes a lot for me to be comfortable around people. I thought that I didn't really fit in- that people still saw me as the nerdy Harry Potter girl or a prude church girl. The truth is, people care a lot less about me and my reputation than I do. What's getting in my way is my own perception of myself. And while learning to believe in myself isn't going to be easy, it is entirely up to me. Nobody else can get in the way of that.

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT...

Anyone who is familiar with Twitter has probably seen the hash tag "That awkward moment when..." some event occurs that the user thinks is awkward. The truth is, most of these moments aren't really that awkward. People mention things they do that are embarrassing or stupid, but rarely are they situations that would make somebody feel really uncomfortable. The word "awkward" has become so overused that we don't even understand what it really means anymore. The dictionary defines "awkward" as an adjective to describe somebody that "lacks skill, social graces, or manners; clumsy."

It is true that we all have moments when we feel truly awkward. For example, when I am around the boy that I am attracted to, I feel like a tactless nincompoop. Maybe it's because I actually am, but I think it's because the idea of "awkward" has been so ingrained in my head as the word's usage became more widespread. We all are a lot better at handling social situations than we let ourselves believe.

A few days ago, some good friends of mine challenged me to eliminate "awkward" from my vocabulary for a day, mostly because it's a trait I convince myself that I possess. However, it's a good idea for all of us to stop using "awkward" so much and expanding our lexicons a little bit.

I'm just saying a thesaurus can be a beautiful thing.

HARRY POTTER.

I can guess what you were thinking when you saw the title of my latest blog post. "Typical Greta, talking about Harry Potter."

That's the problem.

I remember seventh grade- it was the year before the seventh harry potter book was published. At that point in my life, I had read all of the books once, but I didn't remember much. I thought it would be a good idea to re-read the entire series in preparation for the next book. It was at that time that I realized that the series was pretty amazing. The magical atmosphere adds a fun and interesting twist on the struggles that every teenager faces. I read the books again, each time catching new details or making different connections to the characters. I was obsessed. I read analyses of the series, listened to podcasts, bought t-shirts... You name it- I probably did it. By eighth grade, I was a full-fledged fanatic. I avidly read fan-fiction, and even took a stab at writing a story or two. Ninth grade proved to be more of the same. It was all Harry, all the time. But by sophomore year, the passion I had felt for the books started to decrease. I still liked to talk about the books (and occasionally sport my time turner) but I could feel the obsessive-ness dwindling. When the premiere of the seventh movie rolled around during my junior year, I hardly even had time to get excited. What used to occupy nearly all of my waking thoughts had become a fun thing to do on a Thursday night.


It's not that I don't like Harry Potter anymore. I still think that JK Rowling is a genius and that the books are phenomenal. But it isn't my life anymore. In hindsight, I think I liked the attention I got in middle school from being such a big fan. Everybody knew that I was the girl to talk to about Harry Potter. Now, it isn't such a big part of my life. I am no longer the squealing fan girl I was freshman year. The hard part is getting everybody else to see it. While I have changed, people's perceptions of me haven't. I'm still the obsessed geek in the eyes of a lot of people at my school, and I'm struggling to show them that I am so much more.

HELLO, AGAIN.

Hello again, blogger world! I've decided to come back to blogging after a three month hiatus. It wasn't intentional, mind you, I just got so busy this summer that I didn't take the time to sit down and write. Now that we're back in the swing of things, three weeks into the school year, I figured it was time to come back. More posts to come!

VACATION

I leave tomorrow! :)

See my Tumblr for updates!

http://apearlinthesea.tumblr.com/

MAKE UP.

You know what I have noticed? There are two extremes when it comes to wearing make-up at school.

There are the "orange faced girls"- the ones with tacky acrylic nails, perfectly straightened hair, and more eyeliner than Pete Wentz. Then there are those who wear absolutely no make up at all. In fact, they don't seem to put any effort into their looks at all- frizzy hair, tired eyes, t-shirts and sweats. We all have days when we roll out of bed and don't have time to get ready in the morning, and I think it's great that some people are comfortable enough with themselves that they don't wear make up (I wish I could do that myself!) But there's a point between being in a hurry and not looking polished. I'm not saying you have to make yourself look like a supermodel every day; that would be ridiculous.

Make up is not meant to change the way you look, but rather enhance what you already have. It kills me when there are pretty girls who either wear too much make up or not enough. I firmly believe that every girl is beautiful in her own way and that she should embrace how she looks. That does not, however, mean that you shouldn't put yourself together. A little bit of blush, mascara, and lip gloss is all you need to look fresh in the morning. You don't need the caked-on foundation or mascara that makes your lashes look like caterpillars, just enough to show that you put yourself together for school. More than anything, taking care of your skin and hair is a sign of self respect, just like working out or brushing your teeth.

DEATH OF THE BUMBLEBEE.

Today, I learned that the entire population of honey bees as a species has been declining in recent decades. Certain subspecies in the western hemisphere have become extinct, and others are close to the same fate. It's called Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) and is probably caused by a combination of factors. Bees are suceptible to certain viruses and attacks from mites and fungi. The widespread use of pesticides and antibiotics also contributes to the deterioration of the species. However, none of these factors made me as mad as what i learned about apiculture. Beekeepers specifically breed bees to be stronger and produce more honey. I know that most animals and plants these days are genetically modified, but I still don't like the idea of it. Sure, the bees might make more honey initially (more honey = more profit). But generations of hybrid bees are more aggressive, which leads to negative effects for the beekeepers themselves. It is much harder to exploit honey from an angry beehive. Another thing that beekeepers do is feed bees a very specific diet. In winter months, bees are mostly given high fructose corn syrup and other sugar substitues. When they can finally pollenate flowers, certain bees only touch one type of plant. Not only does such a  regimented diet have negative effects on the bees (like weaker immune systems), but it is contributing to less variance among flowers as well.

I'm kind of obsessed with bees right now. I'm considering boycotting honey or something because I don't like the idea of a bee-free world. If you couldn't tell, I'm really upset. I don't understand why we, as humans, feel the need to manipulate nature for our own profits. The earth knows how to take care of itself. Our developed brains do not give us the right to mess with nature.

TV.

Today, I had an epiphany: I hate the TV.

GASP.

It was one of those crazy nights that seem all too frequent now. I was coming home late from a track meet, our kitchen was all torn up because of our new cabinets, and we all had take-out from a different restaurant. We (my family and I) were eating together with the TV on "in the background".

We didn't talk to each other at all.

Now, my mother is a very lovely woman, and I am not trying to write a post about how she is addicted to the TV. I simply want to give an example. My brother was trying to say something at dinner. I don't remember what, and it probably wasn't very important, but one would think that conversation was normal at a family dinner. My mom, however, was engrossed by the story of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger on E! News. Whenever Peter, or anybody for that matter, tried to say something at the table, my mom would shush him and get all upset. I'll be the first to admit that I do this when my brother tries to talk to me when Glee is on- I'm sure all of us have at some point- but the intensity of my mom's reaction made me realize how much the TV is a part of our lives. We tune out the people we love to watch actors portray some ridiculous drama. Sure, it is very entertaining, but the way that people are obsessed with "their shows" disgusts me.

Next time you're going to get pissed about somebody interrupting your show, think about what's really important.

HOT TOPIC.

THE hot topic, in fact. Osama Bin Laden has been killed. Now, I am not trying to sound unpatriotic, because believe me, I feel so blessed to be an American. However, I have seen some tweets that are less than respectful towards Bin Laden. I'm not saying that we need to honor him or ignore the awful things he's done, but the happiness that everybody seems to be expressing about his death makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't believe that it is our job to decide who deserves to die, even in the instance of somebody as horrible as Bin Laden. And regardless of the victim, joy shouldn't be found in death like that. God and joy come in remembering the beauty in somebodies life, not at the excitement of their death.

This whole thing makes me feel uneasy.

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON THURSDAY.

I'm feeling pretty scatterbrained right now, and I sort of need to deal with all of the crazy, random, blog-y thoughts, so here it goes.

1) I want need a new title for my blog. I mean, MY BLOG is not creative at all. What a silly name. I want something that makes you want to read more. I have absolutely no idea of what I could change it to, but I am not such a big fan of MY BLOG as the title any more. Suggestions, por favor?

2) We are doing rant-y pieces for creative writing right now which is absolutely perfect for me because LOOK AT THIS ENTIRE BLOG. It's alllllllllll my ranting about random stuff that ticks me off. Basically, my "rough draft" is a collection of blog posts I'm going to rework until one of them is good enough to turn in to my teacher. The problem is, I don't know if any of my topics are strong enough. And also, I missed when she talked about the assignment in class because I was busy making friends with 8th graders.

3) My audition for Seussical is on Saturday (OMG!). I'm a liiiiiiiiiiiiitttle bit nervous, to say the least.

4) I got a job at Delias's today! I don't start until June, but I am soooo excited :)

5) I think I might have lost my drive to succeed in school. I don't really do my homework anymore. Tonight, I watched glee and blogged instead. (Winning big over here)

6) By the way, my AP test for US History is next Friday. Have I cracked open my text book yet? NOPE.

Sorry for the really crappy writing style. I'm too lazy to try, and mostly I just needed to vent. Yay, internet.

MUSIC STIGMA.

"What kind of music do you like?"

"Oh, you know, anything except country!"

Really? Anything? Really?? That statement just drives me up the wall. Not because people don't like country music- people are entitled to their opinions and if you genuinely don't like a certain type of music, that's okay. But I don't understand all the hatred towards country music. Is it because it's not the auto-tuned, digitally mixed crap that seems to be plaguing our radio stations? Is it because the people actually have talent? Is it because their songs aren't all about kinky sex, gangster life or drugs?

I don't get it.

I'm going to be honest, I really like country. No, I don't listen to it often, but it's always fun to tune into K102 every once and a while. Most of the songs are pretty upbeat and make me want to dance. Plus, artists like Willie Nelson or Rascal Flatts are great on road trips (I'm just sayin'). And let's be honest, we all went through a Taylor Swift phase.

I'm not trying to change your opinion about music- you're entitled to your own taste- but I just do not understand why everybody hates country so much.

Oh yeah! And ladies, listen to this song and tell me you don't like country. I mean DANG.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nADTbWQof7Y

HIATUS.

IT'S BACK. Check it out! (and comment, por favor) http://happysonrisa.blogspot.com

EARTH DAY.

Earth Day is coming up (April 22!) so I thought I would do a post about one of my biggest pet peeves.
"Greta that doesn't make sense. Earth day and pet peeves??"
Au contraire. One of my biggest pet peeves has to do with loving the earth.

I hate,
abhor,
loath,
can't stand
litterbugs.

Seeing the ground covered in trash makes me want to cry. I don't understand how someone could just throw their rubbish (giggle) on the ground and not pick it up. Don't you feel a little bit guilty? I mean, littering is horrible for the environment. It harms and/or kills wildlife on the ground and then goes through the sewers to the lakes and oceans and harms/kills wildlife there and it's just this endless circle of destruction! I get a little big carried away... but only because it drives me nuts! And besides having negative effects on the environment, litter just LOOKS ugly. Think about how disappointing it is when you're on the beach watching the sunset and you see a wrapper floating in the water. Or when you're having a picnic and there's a rusty pop can in the grass. It kind of ruins the mood, huh?

The earth is so beautiful and it's our duty to take care of it. All of the animals, plants, oceans-- everything is a blessing to us. Ruining it with pollution and trash just doesn't make sense.

Now, I'm not going to pretend that I am a beacon of eco-friendliness. I don't utilized public transportation (or my bike) as much as I should. I don't compost at home, though I do at school. Those re-usable shopping bags are in a pile in my garage. Like I said, I am, by no means, perfect. But I do recycle as much as possible, I have a re-usable lunch bag, and I turn my lights off whenever I leave a room. And I definitely don't litter. In fact, I usually end up picking up litter when I'm out and about.

I'm not trying to sound like a public service message, but I'm about to so bear with me here. This Earth Day (April 22!!) remember to take care of Mother Nature. I know I am going to try really hard to do those things that I mentioned I'm not so good at, and I'll work extra hard at the things I already do. I encourage all of you to do the same- be conscious of the mark you make on this earth.
And please, don't be litterbug.

BLOGGING.

I'm obsessed with blogging. I'm on this website 24/7 and I even have a mobile app. I mean, if blogger was a boy, we'd be dating. Besides posting all the time, I like to check out other peoples blogs. Quite a few people at my school have blogs because of AP Comp (or just because) and I love reading what they have to say. Everyone is always so hush-hush about their teenage problems and insecurities, so seeing other people blog about it makes me feel like I'm not the only cray-cray one. The only problem with stalking other peoples blogs is that they all have a TON of page views. Seriously, they're up there in the thousands sometimes! I don't even know how to check, but I would probably be disappointed. I swear, my blog probably has like 2 page views. Also, I feel like everyone elses blog has a bazillion comments on it. I've started to get more now that I enable the anonymous comments but... I would LOVE to hear what you have to say about my blog. If something I said resonated with you (or pissed you off!) I want to hear about it! Sometimes, I feel like I'm writing to nobody, which is OK, because I shouldn't write for anybodies benefit but my own, but it would be nice to know my words don't just go off into cyberspace.

FRIDAY? (ALMOST)

to blog or to sleep... that is the question. tonight, i'm going to sleep (it is almost tomorrow, afterall) but i promise i have a new post coming tomorrow :)

GREEN WITH ENVY.

Lately, I have been wrestling with the idea of jealousy. I have this friend who I absolutely adore to pieces, but it sort of seems like she has it all. She's got a great boyfriend, a solid group of friends, gorgeous looks, and a personality to match. She embodies everything I wish I could be and I can't help being resentful. I've found that I often compare myself to her, especially regarding things that don't even matter.

I think the problem stems from an "identity crisis" and a general lack of self confidence. In a world of ranks and places, it is easy to find yourself inferior. I'm constantly thinking about who is smarter, prettier, faster, and better than me. I try to combat those self-destructive thoughts with "well I'm better at ___," but narcissisim is not the answer.

Not that I am pretending to know the answer. The truth is, I don't. I am envious of people's looks, clothing, talents, personality, social status-- you name it. I guess I don't really know where I'm going with this; I'm still working it out. It's just been on my mind and I thought I would write about it and hopefully have some epiphany.

I didn't.

PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE.

I've talked about the minor identity crisis I'm having. After talking to some of my friends, I realized that I am not alone. Every one is trying to figure out who they are and what they want to be. I think the idea of self-discovery stems from the intense pressure to KNOW all of these things in regards to choosing a college. People are constantly asking where you want to go, what you want to study, and what you want to do with your life. And the truth is, it's okay to not know. It's okay to not know your major or career path yet. It's okay to not do things the "normal way." Heck, my creative writing teacher didn't even graduate from high school! That being said... I've been thinking about what I want to do.

I know I want to do something with writing. I just love the English language. I am fascinated by words, and grammar is kind of my thing. Lately, I've also been totally addicted to the Internet. Playing with the settings and layout on my blog is a creative outlet for me. I've been thinking about website design, but that doesn't really involve writing. Journalism is also a possibility I've been looking into. And, I always go back to being an English teacher.

The good news is, I have the world in front of me. The future is my canvas, and I have the rest of my life to finish painting.

TEENAGE REBELLION.

My first kiss went a little like this-- or not...

You know that Ke$ha and 3Oh!3 song called My First Kiss? Well it was stuck in my head today and it got me thinking, I'm 16 years old and I've never had my first kiss. I know, I am a big lame-o. It's not that I'm this big prude who is against kissing until marriage or anything, it just hasn't happened yet. But that's beside the point. Listening to that song made me realize that I am NOT a rebellious teenager. I'm not going around school making out with boys under the bleachers. I'm not a partier and I don't drink. Those two I am kind of okay with, partying isn't really my scene. But I also don't watch R-rated movies without my parents permission. I've never missed curfew, and I don't really stay out that late anyway. I've never snuck out or TPed someones house. Basically, I don't get in trouble.


Lately, I've felt like too much of a goodie two shoes. It's not that I want to do anything stupid or crazy, but I just want to live a little, you know? There are plenty of virtually harmless ways to live on the edge. I don't know, maybe I'll go fork someones yard or something.

SEARCHING.

Band auditions are on Friday, and for the first time in a long time, I'm not participating. It's weird, I've been playing flute for 6 years now and I've never totally been a huge fan of the instrument itself but I've never thought about quitting. Yet, here I am, ready to be done. Being in band, it seems, has always been a big part of who I am. And, as much as I do love music, I don't think that a "band kid" is who I want to be anymore. I don't practice, I'm not motivated, and frankly, I don't want to sit in class.

Coming up on my senior year, I am realizing that I should be involved with things that I love and want to be a part of. Along with band, I have also decided to stop taking dance lessons. This will be my 10th year at the same studio and I think it's time for me to say goodbye. For the last couple of years, I have dreaded dance class, not looked forward to it. I've stayed involved because, selfishly, I want the 10 year trophy, but after this year, I am done. That being said, I am adding a few new things to my list. Obviously, I will still be running like a maniac, but I also hope to add piano lessons to get my music in. And, hopefully a show this summer. :)

Making all these changes and decisions about what I want to do has really made me think about who I am. I'm not trying to be all melodramatic here, but I don't know who I am. I'm not the all-star cross country runner, I'm not the hard-core church kid, I'm not the band geek and I'm not the theater kid. I do love to listen to music, but I'm not as well-versed as some of my peers. I like to write, but I'm not one of those dark, poetry-writer types either. And, I get good grades, but I'm not a genius like some of the people at my school. I'm not saying I want to have labels or anything, because people are much more complex than that, but I do also want to feel like I shine in something. I don't have a great passion for anything, and I don't feel like I have any extraordinary talents.

I do however, know what my values are, and try to stay true to them. I think it's okay that I don't completely know who I am or what I want to be yet. I mean, I am only sixteen.

SMILE.

P.S. I am waaaay to obsessed with the internet so I made a new blog. It's called sonrisa, which is spanish for smile. CHECK IT OUT!!

http://happysonrisa.blogspot.com/

SADIES 2.0

I just realized I never gave you guys an update about my Sadies situation! I know the dance was fortnight ago (I love that word) but I'll fill you in anyway.
A) I FOUND A DATE! I asked on of my friends who I knew would mesh well with the group. I thought he had already been asked by another girl in our group, and then it turned out he hadn't, and so I asked him. We totally just went as friends, but I was still glad I had the balls to actually ask someone.
B) My dress was super cute. I borrowed it from my cousin, and it was black with one strap and a BIG bow. I loved it. Plus, I bought these really tall black patent leather pumps :)
C) PLANNING. Okay, so I was planning the whole group thing with one of my good friends and we were going to eat at Buca. Because we were such a big group, we had to pay in advance. We were asking for money by Friday, and on that Thursday we only had ONE person pay! AH. It was really stress-inducing.
Also, a couple asked to join our group on the Wednesday before the Saturday night dance. ACK! It ended up working out, but people were just adding on like crazy and we ended up with 33 people. It was nuts.
D) Dinner was a lot of fun. I wish it could have lasted longer because there were a lot of fun peeps in our group that I would like to have chatted with longer. Either way, the food was de-lish. Anyway, then we got to the dance. We knew there probably wouldn't be a ton of people there, what with the whole grinding policy issue last year, but man, was it lame. Seriously, there was hardly anybody there. It was kind of awkward, so we went and hung out at the casino, which I found to be extremely boring. Eventually, we made our way to the dance floor and just danced like dorks and ended up having a ton of fun. That is just the way you've gotta do it! We're thinking if we do a repeat next year, however, we won't actually go to the dance but get dressed up and go out to dinner and have a DP at someones house because that is WAY less awkward. Anyway, that's all I've got folks :)

MUSICALS.

Tonight I saw You're A Good Man Charlie Brown at my friends church and it was PHENOMENAL. There was so much stinking talent in that show it absolutely blew my mind. All the actors and actresses looked like they were having a ball up there, and it reminded me of how much I realllllly want to be in a musical this summer. It just seems like such a fun thing to be a part of. Plus, I love show tunes :) all I need to do now is find a community theatre company that will let me join their show. I know there's the blue water, but it's a lot of wayzata kids and I want to make NEW friends. Plus, I'm still sort of feeling funny about the whole sweeney todd thing. Hmm... I dunno, we shall see!! But I AM detrmined to do a show this summer. And also take piano lessons.

BOOKS 2.0

For creative writing, we are supposed to pick a book to read for the semester. I'm sort of having trouble choosing. There are just so many good books out there, it is impossible to decide. I really want to read something by Nick Hornby (one of my new favorite authors) but at the same time, I want to break out of my comfort zone and read something different. There's also the issue of AP Lit, because it seems like a lot of the books on our list are ones we read in that class (which I am taking next year). AHH I don't know what to do!

FOR THE BIRDS 2.0

I was blog stalking (shocker) and I came across this lady
http://ornithoblogical.blogspot.com/
and basically she posts cute pictures of birds every single day! NO JOKE! Not only do the pictures make me smile because they are so dang adorable, but BIRDS! I don't know this woman, but she and I are going to become BFF's.

THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET.

If you couldn't figure out from the title, this post is about Sweeney Todd. I saw the show by the Blue Water Theater Company last night and I can't seem to get it out of my head. It was just so disturbing. I went in there as a completely naive idiot. I mean, I knew it was dark, but I had no idea what it was about. Apparently, I live under a rock.

I knew that people were going to die. I mean, Sweeney Todd is a barber. With razors. And a temper. That's not exactly hard to figure out. But imagine my surprise when Mrs. Lovett (played by one of the sweetest girls I know) has the idea to dispose of the body by baking it into a pie. The way they talk about it so... lightly made me feel sick to my stomach. I already have problems eating ribs and other meat that is on the bone because it makes me feel queasy. It's too close to the animal for me, and I feel really guilty. But people? That was too much for me to stomach.

Then we get to the second act. The citizens of London are going crazy for these pies. Their greedy and ravenous hunger for human flesh is enough to make anyone sick. Cannibalism, it turns out, makes people go insane. There are far too many scenes of the ensemble losing their minds. They shake uncontrollably and have murderous looks in their eyes. The scenes were way over-acted, and seeing people that I know behave in such a way was unsettling.

You can probably guess that there wasn't a happy ending. Sweeney Todd discovers that the wife he came back for wasn't actually dead like Mrs. Lovett said, but was the insane beggar woman whose throat he had just slit. He then proceeds to shove Mrs. Lovett in the oven. Then Toby, the young and, until this point, innocent boy who helped Mrs. Lovett in her shop, figures out what had happened and kills Sweeney Todd himself. And then three hours of sheer torture is over.

I'm not saying that the show itself was bad. The acting was incredible and extremely believable, which made the horror and darkness of the emotions unbearable to sit through. The actors were all in high school and middle school, which made it ten times worse. Seeing people I know act so blood-thirsty and bizarre really upset me. Sweeney Todd is just not an appropriate show for teens. I don't know HOW anyone could be apart of that show and not be affected by it for the rest of their life.

Especially the actor who played Toby. He's a current seventh grader and he truly did a wonderful job acting. However, he lost it when he discovered the secret to the pies, and the horror led him to kill Sweeney Todd. The loss of innocence and the disappearance of the twinkle in his eye seemed so real. And that, my friends, is why I have been unable to get to sleep.

PARENTS.

Lately, I've had a bit of parent envy. It feels like everybody else has cooler parents than me. One friend has really artsy parents. Another friend has outdoorsy parents, or athletic parents, or musical parents. And what do my parents do? Well, not a whole lot of cool stuff, it seems.

Here's what I think I've discovered. Growing up, you always look up to your parents. I mean, they take care of you, they love you, and they're always there for you. Once you become a teenager, however, you realize that your parents aren't perfect. Sometimes, they're late to pick you up- they have lives, too, you know. They can't always do everything you want them too all the time. Parents also get tired, just like we do. The other day, I got really frustrated with my Mom because she didn't want to make dinner. She was getting sick, and had had a very long day at work. It's natural to want to be lazy. I guess my point is that it's really easy to see all the flaws in your parents when you're a teenager. Everything they do wrong seems to be magnified in our minds, which still hold our parents to such high standards from childhood.

When all is said and done, I wouldn't switch my parents for the world. Sure, they're too strict at times, but that's only because they love me. My dad isn't a rockstar, but he has done some really cool things with his life. He's doing wonderful things on the Board of Trustees for Gustavus Adolfus College. He has devoted his life to philanthropy, a value he tries to teach us as well. And my mom will never be the hair stylist I want, but she is the best interior designer I know. She is amazingly talented and has had a ton of her work published in national and international magazines. She made a 4 year committment to the youth program on my church and while she is always dressed like the classy lady she is, she was not afraid to get her hands dirty on the mission trip to Mississippi. I guess I do have pretty cool and well-rounded parents, and I know they would do anything to make me happy.

They're not perfect, but nobody is.

UNWRITTEN.

I have a creative writing workshop coming up and I was thinking about adding to/editing a blog post because that's where I feel like I use the most voice. However, I don't totally know which one to use. I mean, I feel like all the ones about boys would be a little... um... awkward. But I was thinking about doing something on the importance of writing, the growth of the internet, and how I've combined the two. A the same time, though, I feel like we maybe have a future assignment like that. Argh! I don't know what to do!
Any suggestions would be very welcomed :)

LOVE?

I don't know what has gotten into me today. I don't know if it's pre-ACT stress, nerves for the dance tomorrow or PMS (or maybe a combination) but basically, I'm alone in my room on the verge of tears. I do NOT want to be spending my 17th Valentine's Day alone. Again. I am really getting sick of all the mushy couples being happy and in love and doing cute things for eachother. I am tired of love songs being the only thing on my iPod. But mostly, I really hate the feeling of being alone. I want to go on a date, I want to have a boy do cute things for me, and I want to know what it feels like to be in love. However, I don't really see any of that happening for me in the near future. Needless to say, I am not excited for monday.

DROID.

Oh my goodness! I just got a new phone and it's so cool! It has android smart people stuff that I don't totally understand, but guess what! It has an app for blogger! Thats right. A blogger app. Basically that means I'll never have to deal with that horrible internet withdrawl again. Yay!

RUN.

Man, oh man. Today was brutal. First of all, I started a brand new term and my classes basically suck. I literally don't know anybody in my creative writing class. Greaaaat. Anyway, that is not even the worst of my troubles. Today I went running after about a 3 week (but basically a semester) long break from working out. I've been so busy with school and stuff, plus it doesn't help that I really don't like the nordic team very much. I decided it was high time to get my butt in gear and go running, and as good as that was, it also made me realize that I am extremely out of shape. True, we were running in the cold air which is harder on your lungs, but a got winded on a 20 minute run. Yup, you read that right. 20 minutes. NOT GOOD! My ab muscles (that were already pretty much invisible in the first place) are hiding underneath all those Christmas cookies I ate over break, and don't even let me get STARTED on those arms. I used to be able to lift a lot more weight, which is saying something considering the fact that I am pretty much a weak baby child to begin with.

Basically, my goal for February is to get my whipped into shape in time for track. I seriously want to run every single day for the whole month. Except tomorrow, because I already made plans to get coffee with my friend from college :) but EVERY DAY after that, I will be out working my tail off in the snow. Lord knows I need the exercise.

OOPS.

When I went to Chicago I had this grand plan of taking a whole butt-load of pictures to either A) go in my brand new room  (or.. future room I guess. It's not brand new yet) or B) make a video diary on my Tumblr. Fun, right?

Yeah, it didn't happen. I hardly took any pictures (even though I totally planned on it) on account of the whole touring colleges thing. I mean, you're walking around all day long and trying to pay attention to what the tour guides are saying, which is already hard to do because you're distracted by how they walk backwards and thinking about how much practice that must take so the whole taking pictures thing doesn't even cross your mind. Or at least, that's my experience. Sorry if you're disappointed, but you probably aren't considering how you're thinking "man, this girl needs to get off the internet."

Oh that's another reason I couldn't share about my trip with you all. I didn't have a computer. I'm seriously obsessed addicted to the internet and being without it for almost 4 whole days was torture.

Okay, anyway.. I really should get to bed now. Mostly, I just wanted to go back on blogger because I missed it.

CHICAGO.

So, I'm done with my APUSH final! YAY! It really wasn't that hard, but I studied my little tush off. Anyway, I'm super duper excited that I am done and can relax this weekend.
After school today, I am flying to Chicago (BY MYSELF!) and meeting my Mom there. I used to live in Chicago so we're going to go visit our old friends and stuff. We're also touring colleges (Northwestern, DePaul and Loyola) and hanging out in the city. What I want to do is take a boat load of pictures and hopefully find some that I can hang in my room! I'll probably post them on my tumblr because I want to sort of make a photo diary of my adventures.
So, if you get bored and feel like looking at pictures of me being dumb...
[Here's the link: http://gretamarie22.tumblr.com/ ]

FINALS.

Final noun
a. a deciding match, game, heat or trial
b. the last examination in a course
c. end of term, power study week, lack of sleep.
see also: HELL

Yeah, it's finals week at Wayzata High School. Fun, fun, fun. It's the week that I am supposed to be focusing, studying and getting all my work done. Of course, I choose this week to discover my new Internet obsession named Grace Helbig. She's on youtube and tumblr and she's absolutely hilarious. I also discovered Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, a video on youtube. Oh, and dearblankpleaseblank. And I made a tumblr myself. I decided I was going to use that to upload the pictures that I take because, as I mentioned, I want to get into photography more. Anyway, the moral of the story is that I CAN'T FOCUS THIS WEEK! Which is really bad, considering how important all these stupid tests are. But really, I leave for Chicago in 3 days. I'm almost 2/3 done with APUSH. I have 3 blocks left of math for at least a year. And, band switches to every other day. (Thank goodness!) I have a lot to get excited for, and when I get excited for things I start to lose focus. It's like a toned down version of the week before summer break. But instead of playing outside (well not playing, but... you know) I am stuck inside my house with nothing to do but the Internet, which, as I previously mentioned, is very dangerous. I don't really know what my point was of writing this (see what I mean about focusing? yeah, not happening. I can't even write a blog post for goodness sake!). Mostly I just wanted an excuse to go on the interwebs. So yeah, finals suck. I heart the Internet. The end.

PDA.

Alright, I feel like I've avoided the topic long enough. I think it's time to write about one of my biggest pet peeves ever: Public Displays of Affection, commonly referred to as PDA. I think part of the reason it drives me so crazy is because, I'll admit, it would be nice to have a boys hand to hold. However, holding hands isn't even what bugs me. I think that's totally cute and it doesn't make other people feel uncomfortable. I saw this couple the other day, and they were walking arm in arm and I thought that was really stinking adorable. However, when couples are hanging all over eachother, I start to get a little grossed out. The worst is when people decided it's appropriate to MAKE OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAYS. Did you notice how thats in all caps? Probably because it drives me absolutely BONKERS! I mean, seriously? That's disgusting. Save it for after school or go to the creepy a-wing stairwell. I don't care WHERE you do it as long as I don't have to see it.

VAGABOND.

New favorite song: Vagabond by Wolfmother
Have a listen :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO91q9XpbiI

BOOKS.

I've pretty much always been a big book nerd my ENTIRE life. However, with high school and everything, I hardly ever have time to read anymore! I mean, I have APUSH and all my other classes. Then I have sports after school. Most days of the week, I have something else going on too, like dance or church. Oh yeah, and a social life. Basically, the whole reading thing hasn't been happening very much, which makes me really sad. That is about to change, my friends. Today, I went to the library and got a book by Nick Hornby. Why Nick, you ask? Well, Ben Folds has always been one of my favorite singers. On his latest album, Nick Hornby wrote all the lyrics and Ben put them to music. And let me tell you, it is freaking awesome. Probably my favorite Folds CD yet. Anyway, the point is that I now have a Nick Hornby book, which I am really excited about, and hopefully it will actually inspire me to read :)

PHOTOGRAPHY.

Remember how I mentioned that whole photography thing? Well, I was at Ikea the other day and I took a picture of this lamp because I thought it was kind of cool. Then, I messed around with it on picnik and... here it is! I hope you like it :)

UPDATE.

It's 12:45 on a Friday (well, Saturday) night and I got super bored so I decided to update the look of my blog! Why not, right? When I started this blog I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, and I still don't, but I think I kind of have the hang of this blogging business. Anyway, my latest obsession has been black and white photography. Well any photography I guess. I have always LOVED photography and recently I've decided that I want to actually get into taking my OWN pictures. My point is that I am thinking that when I actually get around to taking the pictures, I'll post them on my blog. In theory, I want my blog to be "The Essence of Greta" so anyone who was looking at my blog could get a good idea of who I am. I'd like to think that my writing is very honest and personal. However, I think adding some other mediums could be kind of cool. You know the old saying: "A picture is worth a thousand words."

SADIES.

I've always thought that the idea of a Sadie Hawkins dance was really fun, so when the student council decided to make our winter formal a sadies, naturally, I was very excited. Then I realized that means that I am the one who has to ask a boy to the dance. To be honest, I'm kinda freaking out a little bit. Here's why:
A) Being a perfectionist, I have this intense fear of rejection, only intensified by all the stupid stuff that happened this fall. The idea of even asking a friend to hang out scares me now. It's really bad, I know I need to get over it, but that's what's going on.
B) Fact: I'm socially awkward around boys. Especially boys I like. Also, reconfirmed by Lieutenant Douche Bag.
C) The first date I ever went on in my entire life was homecoming this year with that stupid boy. The idea of going on a date to a dance has a lot of negative feelings for me.
D) Oh right. A boy. I need one of those. I don't even have any close guy friends that I could ask without it being awkward. Plus, I don't currently like anybody so that kind of takes some fun out of it.
That being said, I do really want to ask someone. I've always talked about how fun a sadies would be, and I'd feel like a hypocrite if I DIDN'T ask someone. If I had a good friend or liked some one or anything I would totally go for it. However, I am lacking in the boy department and I don't know WHAT I am going to do about this silly dance.

SILENCE IS GOLDEN.

Alright, I hate to go ranting about my pet peeves. I mean, I like to be positive and not complain. But seriously, this is called for. Here's the deal: every night for APUSH, I have to read and take notes from a college-level textbook. It's not impossible or anything, but it definitely takes a lot of concentration, and I pretty much need silence when I read if I'm going to retain anything. The most challenging part of the homework is finding a quiet spot to read. I generally prefer to sit in a chair with a hard surface for writing, like a desk or a table. Natural, right? Well, I've NEVER done homework at my desk in my room, and maybe that will change, but it just feels WEIRD. I mean, I SLEEP in there, it's not a spot to do homework, for goodness sake! Plus, there's TERRIBLE lighting in my room. My preferred spot is the kitchen because the counter is smooth for writing and the overhead lights are bright. The only problem is that the kitchen is kind of the community area in my house. People walk through there all the time, which would be something I could live with if my family would just be QUIET! It's one thing if people are just having a conversation around me, I can usually tune it out. The WORST is when I am OBVIOUSLY reading and concentrating and people feel the need to talk to ME!! I'm like, "Do you SEE me doing my homework??" I don't think it's a hard concept to respect people's quiet work time. I get that sometimes my parents want to "connect" or whatever. But when I'm doing my homework?? REALLY?? It drives me absolutely BONKERS! And it's not just my parents who irritate me when I'm reading. Even if I'm just reading a book at school, everyone asks "What are you reading?" And it's not like I want to be rude, but I honestly don't want to answer. People read to ESCAPE the world they're in, not to be bothered by it. I'm not trying to sound cynical or anti-social, but I think that there should be a little bit more respect for people who are obviously trying to focus and concentrate. Sometimes, you just want to be left alone.